As a parent, you don’t wake up thinking, “How do I make my daughter feel loved?” unless it is her special day or there is an actual problem. You may just assume that she does feel loved. Most times parents are distracted by their own issues, it is easy to miss signs of your daughter feeling neglected or not loved. As a matter of fact, most parents believe their children know that they are loved unconditionally. But this is not always true.
It is easy for younger children, teenagers, and young adults to feel that their parents do not care about them or love them if there is inadequate communication, neglect, uncontrolled anger, too much control, or indifference. Children whose parents are extremely busy or who don’t take the time to engage may also feel this way.
Feeling spurned can become problematic as children that do not feel loved may act out, become disobedient or difficult to work with, may become rude, or even show hate and violence. These behaviors may be directed to their parents or to others that they communicate with such as friends, significant others, teachers, and so on. They may also internalize their feelings or end up with mental health issues.
So, How Do I Make My Daughter Feel Loved?
To make your daughter feel loved, you should take the time to tell her she is loved, be attentive to her needs, support her emotions, care about her interests, spend time with her, listen to her, make plans with her, pray with her, praise her, correct her when she is wrong, and celebrate her when you can.
The following are tips on how you can make your daughter or any other child feel loved.
Pray With Your Daughter
Many people underestimate the power of prayer. When you take time to pray with your daughter, not only are you inviting God to share this special time and set an example for her that she can carry through life. Praying gives you time to visit your hopes, voice your fears, and be thankful for your wins. It is a time for meditation and quiet, a practice that could help the mental states of many individuals. Additionally, you may get cues into what your daughter is thinking about or struggling with, because children tend to mention their struggles in their prayers, even when they don’t speak up to you about their issues.
Make Out Time For Your Daughter
The bond between you and your daughter will be cemented over the time you spend with her. Whether it is everyday experiences like a drive to the grocery store, sitting down at the table to work through math homework, watching a Halloween movie together, planting a garden, or cooking a meal for the family.
Memories are created over time spent with the ones we love. This means that if you want your daughter to feel loved, you should be intentional about spending time with her.
So plan out some time in your day to talk to her about hers. Share your experiences during this special time. Make out time in your week for planned events, like a picnic on the beach, biking, fishing, bowling, playing some sport, reading, drawing, baking, redesigning a room, or whatever you can come up with. The important time is that both of you are working on stuff together and that you are enjoying each other’s company.
Hear Your Daughter When She Speaks
When your daughter wants to tell you something, take the time to listen to what she has to say and hear her. “Of course, I listen to my daughter,” you say. But in reality, most young people don’t believe that they are being heard. For instance, you may, by habit, speak over her, cut her off while she is talking, or impose your own views on her.
Even if you don’t like what she says, let her speak. If you don’t understand what she is trying to tell you, ask questions. Give feedback if needed.
Try to stay away from distractions when listening to your daughter and give her your full attention. This means no phone, no book, no television, and no fiddling.
Be Involved In Your Daughter’s Interests
You probably have been in a situation where you felt someone didn’t care enough about you when they don’t know your favorite color is “green” for instance, or that you love to walk in the park to clear your mind, or that you enjoy listening to Cardi B, that you aspire to be an author, and that you are working on completing your first book.
When people you consider friends don’t know your interests, it may be annoying, but it is even worse when your family doesn’t have a clue.
An easy way to make your daughter feel loved is to show that you are curious about what she likes. Try to pick up a similar hobby so that you can share quality time learning or participating in the hobby.
You may be interested in reading, How Do I Raise My Daughter to be a Leader?
Encourage Her to Talk to You
Your daughter may avoid talking to you if she can help it. They do so for many reasons. For instance, they may not want you to worry about their situation, or escalate it, or do something else to worsen it. They may also not want to think about “the bad stuff” when they are at home with people who love them or when they are having fun, as doing so can be stressful.
You should find time to sit with your daughter and ask her about the places she has been to, and without being overbearing, find out what her experiences are. Ask about her friends, and let her talk. Make her feel safe about sharing her private information with you because you are not going to overreact or share it with someone else.
Be Her Rock
The world is a tough place, and even though we do not plan for our daughters to have bad experiences, they may. From having a challenging day at school because they failed a test or forgot their homework to extreme bullying, or maybe they lose their job or break up with a significant other. Some tougher situations to consider include accidents or even rape.
Our daughters go through a lot, and sometimes they don’t talk about it. Being able to understand what your daughter is going through and ensuring that you are there for her, supporting and fighting for her. No matter the circumstance, comforting her and letting her know she is not alone will definitely make your daughter feel that she is loved.
Recognize When She Is Sad
Don’t take your daughter’s quietness or isolation for granted. She may be sad or going through something that she may not want to share with you. Interestingly, psychologists ask us to look deeper into a child’s sadness as it may be a sign of something more, take for instance depression. Recognize when your daughter is sad, as all the tips in this page may not be able to help her if she needs professional help. Otherwise, find out the source of her sadness by asking her to talk to you, showing support, and helping her solve any underlying issues.
Correct Her When She is Wrong
When you care about someone, you will correct them when they are wrong so that they don’t repeat behaviors that will get them in trouble. Depending on what they did, you may be angry, you may raise your voice, you may even admonish them, and you may not like that you have to.
Some parents think that correcting their daughters when they are wrong will send the impression that they hate them. But on the contrary, correcting your child is an act of love. If your child puts their finger in the fire in your presence, you will not throw away your face because you know that they will get burned. So also, you shouldn’t keep quiet when you see your child do something that you know can get them into trouble or hurt them in one way or the other.
Learn to correct your daughter the right way, which includes respecting her privacy when you talk to her, making sure she understands what she did wrong and why you are correcting her, being firm about what you believe in and even disciplining her if this is required. Make sure your daughter understands that behind the act of correcting, admonishing, or disciplining her, you love her and that your goal is to guide her and help her become the best she can be.
Celebrate Your Daughter
Celebrating your daughter, whether it’s her birthday or just a fun day, is a great way to show her that you love her. You can surprise her with a birthday party or a mani-pedi or other beauty or spa treatment outing. You may also take her to her favorite stone and make a purchase for her or invite close friends and family to celebrate a family event.
As a parent, it is normal to ask, how do I make my daughter feel loved? It is also normal to expect them to feel loved when you have tried everything you can think of. Hopefuly the tips on this post are helpful, as they have helped me in raising seven children. I want to remind you however not to be too hard on yourself if you have tried everything and your daughter still does not feel loved. This is pretty normal as personalities are different.