Moving Away From Family? 9 Great Tips

moving away from family

Are you moving away from family, or planning to do so in the near future? Moving is something everyone will have to deal with at some point in life. The challenge is how do you prepare so that your move is not too costly, is time efficient, that you find a good location, and all-in-all, a successful move.

In this post, we are going to discuss the reasons why moving may be a great idea for some, and what you need to do to ensure that your move is effective, and you don’t end up back in your in your family home.

Why Should Young Adults Move Away From Home

Home is comfortable, it is where you grew up and where all (or most) of your life memories are created. When living at home, the rules are simple, and most people know what to expect. Things are typically stable, and payment of bills and utilities are normally taken care of by your parents (or parent figure).

While home is what you are used to, and your family may not even want you to leave, there are reasons young adults should move out of home and start their own lives.

The 7 main reasons why young adults should move away from home are-

1) You need independence

This means that you learn how to do things on your own, and start developing your own homebase. Moving away is an opportunity to cut the cord on reliance on your parents. You an also start preparing to build your own homebase, just like your parents did.

2) You need to figure out who you are

You get to do this by getting an experience of the real world, growing your perspective on most things, understanding how you will react in given situations, if you don’t have family influence, and so on,

3) To improve your career prospects and job opportunities

Many young people will move out of their home for better job opportunity. Large cities may offer more jobs and better pay for certain jobs. Others may also move to larger cities for an opportunity to be hired in a certain career area.

4) Learn to Hustle

Young people are shocked at how much other young people hustle. This is usually not evident when you live in your parents home. When you move out, you will run into young people your age who may not have the option to move back home. The experience is an eye opener as you will learn how hard working other young adults are, and how difficult life can be. But, you will also learn to hustle like everyone else.

5) You are not getting along with your parents

Some young adults do not get along with their parents. This problem may get worse as they grow from teenager to adulthood. Not all families are perfect, and young people may have a strong reason to get away from their parents.

Here are tips for dealing with parents who hate you.

6) Escaping an abusive environment

Whether it is a case of living with poorly behaved parents, or incidents of parental abuse. Some young adults want to get out of their family home the moment they can, and usually, this is when they become an adult, and can afford to move out.

7) You feel you are not reaching your full potential at home

Many young adults who have a strong drive to succeed may not be getting the opportunity to do so from their family home.

I remember listening to a YouTube video where a 22 year old millionaire spoke to this issue. He lived at home as a teenager, which is when he stared an eCommerce business. He said his business gained traction, but it needed a lot of his attention to grow. According to him, during his peak hours of performance, his mom would walk into his room and ask him to do the dishes or take care of his sister or even to walk the dog.

While he did not have any problems helping out in the home, he worked on his business in blocks of time, and needed undistracted attention. When he found out he couldn’t do this from home, he moved away, and today, he is proud that he has bought his mom a new home. But he also stated, that he would never have succeeded in his family home.

While many individuals may think they connect with this story, remember that this individual was already an entrepreneur at home, and was making enough money to make the move without putting himself in a a bad place.

When is the Best Time to Move

Most young adults in the United States make their first move when they turn 18. This is because at this age, most young people are graduating high school, and are going off to college, or have become adults, and want their own independence.

Young adults that move off to college, typically come home after school, and depending on their plans for the future, they may choose to go off to post graduate school, or find a job that can support them, and move permanently away from their parent’s homes.

The best time to move away from home, is when you can afford to. This doesn’t mean that you should give yourself to your 30s to move out. Rather, you should save, and create resources that will support your move earlier in your adulthood.

18 year olds do move out successfully. Still many other 18 year olds that attempt to move out of their parents homes, fail and return to their family homes after living away for a few months. Many others report that they have been homeless at one point or the other. Many find out they can not afford college and drop out of school, as a result they may not reach their full career potential.

Think about your own circumstance and decide what will work for you. Include people who have moved successfully in your planning, as you can get many tips from them.

Where to Move to

If you’re moving away for the first time there are a number of things to take into consideration in selecting your new home.

First you should try to stay as close to your workplace as is possible. The cost of commuting to work can quickly add up when you make a bad decision.

Also stay close to a support system, or create one when you move. Whether it’s your family or friends, it’s good to know that you can call up on someone when you run into problems.

Further, you may want to  move to a place where resources are not too far away.

I remember when my daughter moved away to San Antonio alone, she lived in a neighborhood where she wasn’t close to any good food places. She ended up going hungry some nights as she drove home from school, because as she said, she didn’t have the strength to cook, and she did not want to eat junk food.

I am glad that she has resolved this through a better planned move. Also, a lot of food issues have been solved today with food delivery services like Grubhub. But still, you want to think of necessary resources when choosing your new home location.

moving away from family

If you don’t have a means of transportation take this into consideration when choosing a location to move to. People that don’t have transportation depend on means of getting around that’s provided by the government. 

If you don’t have your own personal transportation then you should consider buses, subs, trains  and so on, that are available  to you. Don’t go and move into a suburb that doesn’t have a bus service for instance. Don’t move somewhere where you going to have to trek for miles to get transportation assistance, unless  you planned the  trekking as a part of your exercise regimen.

One more thing to take into consideration when making a selection for your new home is the cost of living. Move where you think you can afford the expenses that are associated with your life-style.

There are some neighborhoods that are known for being expensive. Apartments, basic services, grocery stores and everything else you’re going to need on a daily are going to cost a little bit more then if you live in other neighborhoods. No, I’m not asking you to move into a cheap or dangerous neighborhood butto check the cost of living in certain areas and move only where you can afford.

Here Are 9 Things to Do if You Are Considering Moving Away From Family

1. Be clear about your objectives

It’s important that you clear about your reason for moving out of your family’s home. Ask yourself, do I need to move out to go to school? Do I need to move out to get a good job? Do I need to move out for some Freedom or Independence?

Don’t just move out because others are doing so. Don’t move out because you think it’s shameful to be a young adult in your parents home. Don’t move out simply because your parents irritated you the night before, and now you want your own space. Because moving comes with costs that most young adults don’t anticipate until they actually have their own place.

Unfortunately for many young adults who move out of their family homes are not able to return as family members have moved on, and may not have space available for you when you decide to come back. Talk with people who have already successfully moved away from home, and get a clear understanding as to what this involves. Make sure that when you do move, you are doing so for the right reasons.

2. Research the area you want to move into

Have a good reason for choosing the area you will move into. Research the area to find out what resources are available to you.

In moving away from family ensure that you move to an area you are comfortable with. What is important to you? Create a checklist of non-negotiable items, and then research the area that you want to move into and make sure that all boxes on your list are checked.

3. Save Save Save

Once you have made up your mind to move away, start a savings account dedicated to your move. Even if you have a great job, make sure you have a healthy amount of funds saved before you move away from family. This will ensure that you do not fall into a financial situation that you cannot bail your self out of. Make sure you have at least 5 months expenses saved before you make that move.

Here are some financial tips you could use as a young adult.

4. Get a Job or find some other means of income

Unless you have just inherited money, or have a fairy godmother that will take care of all your bills, don’t try to move away without first securing a job.

5. Find a place to move into that is close to your job or school

Make sure that you do not have too much commute time from your job or school. Commute costs quickly add up and if this is your first time to move out of your home, then it is easy to neglect this possible cost. Even if you have your own car, long commute times easily adds up to hundreds of dollars a week.

6. Start creating your support system

Your family is typically a support system for you, so living at home, you may not need an external support system. You will find that you will need people to help you with various things, especially emergencies. Start making friends that live or school where you will be moving to. Try to setup get-togethers so that you can get to know each other better, and get to understand how to support each other.

7. Cut back on recreational expenses

Recreational expenses are the fastest way to get broke and looking to move back to your family home. Most young adults don’t budget recreational expenses, and spend on the whim because their friends are doing so, or simply because they want something.

8. Anticipate and understand all expenses

Food, clothes, gas, utilities, insurance, school related expenses, gym subscription, and so much more. When you move out, you are going to find out that so many things you took for granted are paid for. Ask young adults that live on their own what they pay for, and make sure you have a good understanding of all possible costs before moving away.

9. Transportation

Find a stable and reliable means of transportation. The most common option is to get your own vehicle. Of course this comes with additional expenses as you probably will have to make monthly payments, insurance payments and maintenance costs.

On the other hand, if you do not have transportation, you are going to find that you are depending on others for simple things like going to a library, going to the movies or getting to and fro to the grocery store.

Getting from one place to the next should cost you too much as a young adult if your do your research well. Take for instance, if you are in college, most schools will offer free transportation to and back from key places outside of the school. They may even subsidize your transportation costs.

moving from family for first time

Moving back Home

Many Young Adults move away from their families, thinking, “this is it” but when hit by the hardships of real life, some are fast to move back home. While others may not have the option.

When moving away from your family, make sure that you have the support of your parents, other family or friends. Incase things don’t work out the way you anticipated, do not hesitate to ask for help. As long as you don’t plan to become a burden, and you give-back when you receive. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Sometimes a little assistance will help keep you stabilized. It will also help with ensuring that your move is permanent.

Also, do not hesitate to move back if you find that your move is having adverse effects on your life. You can always, pick yourself up and try again with the intent of avoiding mistakes you made on your first move.

Conclusion

If moving out shows you that living with your parents made more economic sense, then maybe you should move back with your family, and then work to develop the economic power to move out. There is no shame in living with family until you are ready to move out. Where the shame lies is in not being able to pay your bills, getting evicted for bad behavior or inability to keep up with the costs of living, developing habits or friends that put you in police trouble, or falling into legal problems.

Here are a few tips to help you get ready for moving out.

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Christine Udeani, JD
Christine Udeani, JD

Christine is a dedicated mother of six young adults and a teenager who has made significant contributions to the online world through her writing and entrepreneurship. She attended Northwestern University, Strayer University, Thomas M Cooley School of Law, NWCULAW, and holds degrees in business, Law, and Communications. She shares tips and experiences to help young adults and their parents with this generation’s issues.

Find me on: Web | Twitter

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